


The Makima Diaries

by LackingLack



Category: Chainsaw Man (Manga)
Genre: Boredom, Desperation, F/M, Loneliness, Wanting to feel human
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-10 09:41:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27848722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LackingLack/pseuds/LackingLack
Summary: **The following is Top-secret, and only for authorized internal United States government use.**These are contents obtained after a lengthy NSA surveillance operation analyzed Japanese internet blogs for anyone resembling M*****. We believe this to be her, and it is to be circulated among the National Security Council for further deliberation, and sent up to the President for any decision to be made thereof.
Relationships: Denji & Hayakawa Aki, Denji & Power (Chainsaw Man), Makima/Chainsaw, Pochita & Denji (Chainsaw Man)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 10





	The Makima Diaries

### Entry 01: April 4, 1993

Hello, world. 

Haha! I always wanted to try that one out.

Well hi there, I've decided to start my own internet diary. Checked out many of yours, and found them very... interesting. 

You have provided me with a great source of insight into the human condition, and it's only fair that I return the favor, as best as I'm able. 

Where to start about me, hmm.

First of all, I'm in a new place. I was somewhere a lot more... exotic before. Now this area is tame by comparison but at the same time, it does offer its own fascinations and challenges. 

You could say I came here for work... yes. I'm here for work primarily. And my new bosses - well, we get along just fine really. I know hard to believe right? 

But all it takes is a bit of bowing, some " _konnichiwa Miyamoto-sama_ ", " _arigatou Nakamura-san_ " and yep. A girl can get her way in this world! Heehee

Hmm... I do miss him though. Ah right, who is he. Well - let's call him... my boyfriend? Of a sort. Although not sure he knows that part just yet HA

Don't worry though, he will. Or I should say... he would have. He sort of - hm. Disappeared on me a bit. So that's part of my travels I guess you would say, is maybe hoping to forget about the past and start over again. 

Doing something new, something I'm good at. 

Trying to make this world a better place

##### Current Mood:

[A Horse with No Name - America](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oIYgsqhwXzM&ab_channel=America-Topic)

[Ain't No Sunshine - Bill Withers](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5PeyzXvvdmw&ab_channel=BillWithers-Topic)

### Entry 02: March 16, 1997

Hello again everybody. Apologies for not sending out more posts. I just... I don't know. Haven't felt in the mood you know?

Lot of work. Whole lot. BUT!

Guess what? Go ahead. Guess it!

YEP ! I found my boyfriend !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now he is.... somewhat messed up... at the moment. Like kinda scrawny and emaciated. I think he maybe went on too many benders or something away from me. He really needs me! I can take care of him like noone else

Ah yeah and there's also another issue.... minor probably - basically he's with another guy

Haha I can picture the responses to this one, calling me another hopeless chick with no gaydar. Pfft. Watch and see, watch and see. I've got my ways ~

Other than that - work is doing good. Boring sometimes until now but good enough. And, yeah. Things are finally picking up! 

Well feel free to say hello back or whatever. 

Oh, and call me M. ::smile::

##### Current Mood:

[Finally - CeCe Peniston](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zGYO9lEodQE&ab_channel=LarryHinze)

[Sweet Home Alabama - Lynyrd Skynyrd](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RrmWFjnAP2E&ab_channel=LynyrdSkynyrd-Topic)

### Entry 03: May 12, 1997

Me again

So yep. Found my bf, and guess what gang? Offered him a big ole JOB working for yours truly !

Does it GET any better than being the boss of your own boyfriend? 

Didn't think so ;-)

So yeah I ... have to also deal with this "friend" he has who is QUITE attached. Hmm, it's a puzzle. But never fear I'm on it. 

He's been very busy for sure, and doing an EXCELLENT job (like I knew he could <3)

He's missing a lot of his old potential still though... and I'm hoping by getting him working, introducing him to some friends and associates, bonding, teasing... it'll begin to snap my boy out of this FUNK he's been in!

Ok so I got a few replies to my last post 

**XxXsmartyazz420gurlXxX asks: "Hey M. So, not only do you fall for a gay guy lmao. But you honestly are calling that dude your boyfriend? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA. Take the L and just cope with it. Later ho!!!"**

....

You know what smartyazz? I know where you live. I know what you look like. Don't think you grabbing those bills from your stepmom's purse aren't getting reported. 

Ok back to what I was saying ~

So yeah... lots of associates, teammates. Of course, my job is so high profile and awesome and all, that I have supervisors and everything to deal with too. There's always jealous folks, "haters" as you all would call them. I don't mind! Bring them all on. It makes this all the more intriguing. I'm pretty good at confusing and distracting them too ;-) My poker face is SOMETHING ELSE, let me tell you people - ain't nobody knowing what goes on up in this noggin!

The main thing I'm working on is just "directing" the energy of my subordinates so they do what's needed... for the big picture and all. The grand scheme. Some of them are pretty rambunctious, pretty hyper. Honestly one of the things I'm gonna need to ask my BF to help change, once he gets back to his old self. Get it so people know how to behave more. 

Like my dogs! I didn't mention it but I'm a big ole doggo loving kind of gal. They just... they're so calm. So friendly. They never whine, complain, get upset. Or if they do, I know just how to take care of it. Honestly I get a lot of my ideas on how to deal with the office politics from these fellas, haha :-P

So I guess that's about enough for this time guys. Thanks for reading, and I appreciate all the responses. I'll try to answer more next time, but that first one... woo that was a doozy. 

I'll keep on working and keep on making this world the place it oughtta be! 

See ya ~

##### Current Mood:

[Every Breath You Take - The Police](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=orGKsBYObtw&ab_channel=ThePolice-Topic)

[These Boots Are Made for Walkin' - Nancy Sinatra](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rypT2qMO1RY&ab_channel=NancySinatra-Topic)

### Entry 04: September 29, 1997

Long way aways I guess again. Well, all that work without much play will do that to ya.

Things have been getting very eventful at the office! Had to deal with hostile takeovers from other companies, our clients sometimes deserting us, and oh yeah.

MY BF STILL IS NOT BACK TO NORMAL YET

W t f

::Long exhale::

Ok. I'm fine. 

So yeah. I've also got some of my subordinates and colleagues giving me even more side-eye than normal and for some of these jokers that is a LOT of side-eye. 

But you know what? I'm cool. I'm calm. And I'm **confident.** Noone can bring me down. My spirit is riding high ever since I found my bf and it will not stop this easily! 

So - some of his associates I set him up with right? Well. They've been getting a bit too... hmm... nosey? Controlling? Almost like they think he belongs to THEM now or something! HA what a laugh right? Who do they think _they_ are? I found them too and set **them** up. Don't they get this?

Well... things kinda - they reached a tipping point let's say. And yeah. I had to let some of them go. OK, I let a lot of them go. But you know what? My bf will appreciate it. I know he will. He's going to have a hard time for a bit but I'm a big Tough Love kind of believer. Can't make that omelette without breaking some eggs, right? Yeah. Right!

Let's respond to your questions now, I need a distraction

**CallMeMisterVain asks: "M, you sure your boyfriend's all that? You keep going on and on about this dude. Well tell me one thing he got that I don't! I'm tough, I'm strong, I can bench like 250. Come on. Give me a chance will ya? <3 P.S. If you say no, I'll just go with the other b*****s I got lined up haHA"**

::Rolling eyes:: 

Where to even start. Ok first of all. What makes my BF so special? Ah great question Mister Vain!

Let me answer you with my own question - 

Haven't you ever felt, really really strongly inside , that something just wasn't right? You know, it's a problem, it's bad, it should go away? 

I'm sure you do. Maybe it's those godawful booty shaking music videos. Maybe it's the times your pizza slices are almost fused together, and the cheese melts way down so when you grab it, half the damn thing falls right off. Maybe it's global warming or childhood poverty. Doesn't matter right !!!!!!!! 

THE POINT BEING... we all have our irks and things we don't like. And, well. _What if there was someone who could get rid of them for you?_ You see where I'm headed here? **Yeah, my bf can do that!**

He's fucking one of a kind, and Mister Vain you aren't anything but another mediocre wannabe. Trust me, I saw you, you still live with mommy and daddy. Ain't shaming you, I know it can be a tough economy, but reel that in some next time fella ~

**JennyFromThaBlock asks: "So... 'M' as you call yourself. Just what is it that you do exactly? I don't like people creating fake profiles and making up wild stories on here. For a lot of us, this is an intensely personal experience and not a place for fakers. Just be honest and genuine and others might begin to accept you. I can sense the hurt and the loneliness you have deep within."**

Wow. That was... unexpected.

And if there's one thing I HATE, it is the unexpected. HOWever -

I'm an expert at adjusting >:-)

Ok Jennifer Wainsworth, who lives at Apartment 302 in Lincolnshire Boulevard, Pittsburgh PA 15222. Oh woops? Was that too much info? Did I start getting too "real" and "personal" for you? Maybe I should go back to being "lonely" and "hurt" again. Don't worry I'm sure the cops will enjoy what I told them you've done. Bye-bye ~

And for your information, my job is CLASSIFIED actually. I can't tell you what I do. But... don't worry. Once I get my BF up to speed again, I have a feeling it won't matter anymore ;-D

So that's enough questions for this entry ! Ha

Well. Like I said, I've been under some pressure and stress of late. Juggling a lot of these balls in the air as the upper management puts it. But it's finally, FINALLY, coming to fruition. 

God I hope it is

##### Current Mood:

[The Chain - Fleetwood Mac](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LhtDIGnsejw&ab_channel=VenusEnRosa)

[Everybody Wants To Rule The World - Tears For Fears](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=awoFZaSuko4&ab_channel=TearsforFears-Topic)

### Entry 05: October 14, 1997

Things are not going great.

Have you ever, ever really just wanted something? That one thing, so deep down inside, for so long. And then you actually get it. But... it's not what you thought. It doesn't last.

Well yeah that's me right now. My BF came back. The real deal this time. For sure. The whole enchilada. Tossed his boytoy to the curb and everything. He was revving his engine powerfully and showing his stuff. 

But... he won't... he doesn't... :-(

 **I've been rejected.**

I know, how is it possible? I'm beautiful, I'm brilliant, I'm bodacious. But, it is. He doesn't want what I want. And I don't know what to do about it!

This wasn't in my plan, him being THIS stubborn about things. I really thought all it would take are some shocks to his system, after a while of building him back up and getting him in the swing of things again, and PRESTO. I'd have my wonderful amazing Knight again, the Hero of Hell himself. Sadly, I have nothing. He's still strong alright, that's true. But just, he isn't listening to me. 

Of course it's not like those others could've done any better. Talking to you Famine, War, Pestilence. You think you're so hot? Pfft. I'm the only reason he even got this far, or he was even found again at all. 

_Frustrating !!!_

I'll take some reader questions... 

**NervousOstrich999 asked: "Hey M, are you really able to mess with people like you keep saying? Know all their info and get them in trouble, spy on them? Just wondering, ::gulps::"**

Ha. Good question, Ostrich. I'm afraid that going into any sort of detail on this would be... a breach of my contract as it were. Rest assured everything I said was very very real. 

**CutePlusSassyXD asked: "You seem pretty damn manipulative! Like a user? You just seem to want people to always do what YOU want from them. Haven't you ever thought maybe they have a right to decide on their own? Come on M, get a heart"**

Hmm.... manipulative you say. User. Well, I can't say you're wrong about either of those. That is my essence. When it comes to the issue you raise, should humans decide on their own what is best or could a superior intelligence instead guide and mold them. I must come down on the side that says whoever knows best should decide. Maximizing pure freedom leads to the chaotic situation we have before us. 

**TheoGradUNM asked: "Hey M, if that's your real name! Lol. I enjoy your journal but I gotta ask - do you really think it would be best if someone like your bf actually existed? And could just erase whatever they believe is harmful? I mean... isn't that a subjective grey area type thing? Different people feel differently about the same stuff right? Who's to say what are the "bad" things that should be gone? I think it's too much power to give to anyone! Better to let us all sort it out. Well, those are my two cents anyhow, keep on doing what you're doing and best of luck with the whole situation."**

Thank you, first of all. I appreciate your politeness. On to what you raise - yes people may feel differently about what is bad and harmful. But think of it like this - the more fear goes into something, the higher the odds my boyfriend would be interested in erasing it. Or at least... he would have... before. But yeah, even if a tiny minority likes something, if enough others fear it and feel it is bad, then it should be gone. That's my core belief. It's how to make things better overall. 

Let me ask you all something - do you think manipulation or control in itself is bad or harmful? Shouldn't that go away? It sounds tempting to say yes doesn't it. Well... yeah. I would agree, but... others have other ideas. 

I'm feeling kind of sad right now and confused, so I'm gonna end this here. Thanks everyone for reading and responding. I hope your relationships and goals turn out better than mine has. Til next time

##### Current Mood:

[Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood - The Animals](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YMDrTMnm1IE&ab_channel=TheAnimals-Topic)

[The Thrill Is Gone - B.B. King](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kpC69qIe02E&ab_channel=B.B.King-Topic)

### Entry 06: October 31, 1997

Enough.

I've had enough.

I gave him time. I gave him space. I tried. I TRIED so hard to let him understand things. To make him understand. 

If he wants to be a stubborn useless brat, we're done. It's over. I don't need him anymore, at least not voluntarily. 

If Chainsaw won't give me what I need, then I'll just take it from him. By beating it out. 

And same goes for anyone else who tries to be an obstacle now. Kishibe, Kobeni, the useless imbecile fused with mighty Chainsaw named Denji. A revived Power. Anyone. Other devils. 

I don't care anymore. The world WILL be made better, and I'm going to do it. You can all thank me and bow down after the mission is over. 

The time for being subtle or sneaking around is long since past. I'm going to reduce you to just another one of my simpering pups and then I'll start erasing every last one of the irritants and problems there are.

I will be a Goddess and the greatest force for justice ever known.

... there's a lot of responses, but I don't need to answer anymore.

My answers will be evident as I remake this world

So - 

Don't worry, this will all be over soon.

##### Current Mood:

[No Ragrets - Big Klit](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SjAcPhdCjjI&ab_channel=BigKlit-Topic)

[What A Wonderful World - Louis Armstrong](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MFFM4dxC1kk&ab_channel=HisTrumpet-Topic)

**Author's Note:**

> Lol. Well, i was bored and there was a distinct absence of any real Makima perspective fics so here you go. Hope it's not too cringe
> 
> Yes I took many liberties with her characterization here but well, it was fun for me


End file.
